If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Pants are for mortals
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
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