you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I pour the whiskey from now on
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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