Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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