Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
