we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
