We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
