You're completely useless in the revolution.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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