there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
