Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
