yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
