we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
