i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
