Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
