Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
