you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
