It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
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