I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
