I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
