i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
