I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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