She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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