Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Randomize
