I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
