bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
