Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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