I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize
