Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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