that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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