Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
