I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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