dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Randomize
