we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
