He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
