ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
