they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
