Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
He? As in you personified your dick?
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
