he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I would fuck him just for his dog
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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