i just google imaged poop.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
