I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
