First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
