Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
