Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
