He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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