Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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