last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
