thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
