Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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