I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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