Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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