somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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