I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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