Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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