he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
